The Rose

The Rose

He brought me a rose.

It was a single white rose.

I thought it was the loveliest thing I’d ever seen 

Delicate, soft, pure

Then I thought, “What a waste.”

I can’t touch it

I can’t smell it

I can’t care for it

I’d always wanted a rose

A rose from him

But this, this didn’t count.

Because you see, he brought this rose to my grave.

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This Is How To Have An Awesome Day

Please don’t be deceived by the title of this piece. (I don’t have the answers, Sway.) Actually, it should be titled – This Is How I Have An Awesome Day.

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This is how I have an awesome day – I wake up when my alarm says to. No, I get out of bed when my alarm says to.

Because if I get out of bed at my alarm’s first ring, I will not die.

If I don’t snooze it 5 more times, I will not die.

If I don’t catch that extra 30 minutes of very interrupted sleep, I will not die.

If I don’t laze around in bed for another extra hour, I will not die.

Instead, I’d have more than enough time to prepare adequately for my day.

More than enough time for “quiet time”.

More than enough time to eat breakfast (which I really don’t like doing but know I have to do, in order to have an awesome day).

More than enough time to pack lunch (eating out is just the worst thing ever, except it’s at a very fancy restaurant that serves amazing BBQ ribs).

More than enough time to put my own version of some make up on.

More than enough time to lay my bed and not leave my room looking like the desolation of Smaug.

More than enough time to take out the trash in the morning if I didn’t do it the night before. 

More than enough time to not break a million traffic rules while driving to work.

More than enough time to prep for that 5 minute stand up meeting I have with my team almost every morning.

More than enough time to take each day slowly and steadily, because that’s really how life should be lived.

This is how I have an awesome day.

Talking About Grace…

I have been binge-watching this TV show – The Americans for a while now. I like it. You might like it too. I used to dislike streaming movies/tv shows online for two major reasons – buffering, and those irksome ads that are hidden all over the website.

Early this year, I found a website that wasn’t completely ridden with ads and hidden links, so I got over my distaste for online streaming and have since been streaming all the movies/tv shows I watch from that site, as opposed to downloading them first.

But such good things don’t last forever. About a week ago ((((week agoooo)))), I noticed that this site had become riddled with those annoying little buggers. Also, I moved to a new place and my internet connection in my new home was noticeably slower than what I had previously. So streaming my tv shows became stressful again, right in the middle of the second season of The Americans. Ugh.

Last night, I was going through the apps on my iPhone, deleting the ones I felt I no longer needed, when I found my Amazon Instant Video app. I had completely forgotten I had it. Now, as a member of Amazon Prime, in addition to this very awesome thing called 2-day shipping, you get free instant access to tons of music, e-books, HD movies, TV shows etc.

I opened the app and the first thing I saw was a huge banner of The Americans on the home screen and was like wheeeetttt?! I have been suffering all this while, fighting with ads, low quality video and horrible streaming, and this app has been here, all this while, offering me every single thing I ever wanted on a platter, fully paid for and just waiting for me to consume it. (Because it is a native iPhone app, specifically built for streaming movies et al, even in the face of poor internet connection, it performs a thousand times better than whatever a browser can deliver under the same circumstances.) Kai. I was sad at the thought of all the struggle I had been through.

Then I started thinking about how we struggle through life’s ups and downs, trying so hard to solve a problem that has already been solved in the best way possible, exhausting ourselves, and burning out eventually.

And I decided to write this piece.

 

Etana.

iLearn

Life teaches you a lot of things.
Life teaches you everything, really.

I have learned that I may not always have the most objective view of myself.
Others may easily see in me, things which I would never see in myself in a hundred years.

I have learned that pain is but a symptom of an actual ailment.
Pain is not my enemy.
Without it, I’d be dead.

I have learned that bad things happen to everyone, good people, bad people.
In this, life is fair.

I have learned to make the distinction between when I need to overthink a thing, and when I need to act on an impulse.

I have learned to exhale.
I keep taking in all this oxygen, and sometimes forget that if I hold on to it for too long, it becomes toxic.

I have learned that there are different kinds of “waiting”.
And that hope, however small is the life force of every survivor.

I have learned to give of myself freely, without expecting anything in return.
I have learned to give to myself lavishly, knowing the importance of investing in oneself.

For as long as I live, I will learn.

Who Am I?

who-am-i-

 

l am a dancer.
I am the definition of grace.

I am a writer.
Do my words speak to you?

l am an actress.
Isn’t it beautiful how l can easily become anything?

I am a lover.
This in itself, is a skill.

I am nature.
You can’t deny my existence.

I am freedom.
Gotta love me.

I am water.
Fluidity is everything.

l am a Girl.
And every girl has expectations.

I am an artist.
Making something out of nothing.

l am the face of expression.
Believe that.